Trainee diary: Counselling Diploma
The agony and the ecstasy!
Well firstly let me apologise for not having written for nearly a month, there has just been so much going on what with all these holidays and course work that time has slipped away.
I thought about what to write this time and firstly I would like to share with you all that I passed the external examination, which was a huge relief as well as a complete surprise. I was emailed the result by my tutor during the Easter break and I had so been expecting a ‘I’m sorry, but…’ that when it said congratulations I had to read it about three times before it sank in. I then questioned whether they had got the right person (in my head) before I screamed my head off and ran round the neighborhood telling everybody, and I mean everybody, it was one of the best days of my life … seriously. I then started to find out who else had passed and failed, which added a different dimension.
When we were all back in college there were very mixed emotions, especially around people who hadn’t got through, it wasn’t supposed to happen that way, we all wanted to be celebrating together and there was a real shared sadness that hadn’t happened, I think it genuinely took us by surprise and it brought up a lot about the group dynamics. It became even more apparent how we feel about each other and I don’t think it will feel right until we have all passed, hence my title ‘the agony and the ecstasy’.
The wait for that exam result took forever and I am pleased that it is over. I have also had my self-review which went very, very well, I learnt more about myself and how others see me. There are things that were highlighted which I found interesting. Out of it came the opinion that I need a break from self development and pushing myself further, and I think that is advice that I definitely need to listen to, I need to take time out at the end of the course to spend time with my family as the last two years have been especially tiring for me, what with study, placements, counselling and supervision taking up most of my time. I am looking forward to the next part of the journey.
At the moment I am thinking about what to do next with my life, after I have taken some time out what will I do with my qualification? I really want to do something worthwhile with it as I have worked so hard to gain it. I still have a Case Study to finish first and I find myself stalling over it, is that because when it is done it really will mark the end of an era? What am I frightened of leaving behind? I think it is probably the support the course offers me, the structure and stability. It gave me things I had never experienced before and I will miss it all, well except for the work. Actually I don’t even know if that is strictly true as it has pushed me, what will I do with my time?
So there you have it, recently I have passed a milestone in my life, but there is still quite a way to go until I reach my destination, and I think that also applies to my college group, we are doing it personally and collectively.
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